How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
