I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
