if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
