i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
