their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
