yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
