yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
