im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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