you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
