just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
