Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
