I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
