I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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