Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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