Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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