dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
