2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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