And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
