Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
