ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
