This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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