My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
