what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize