I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
