Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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