found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
