During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
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