wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she pinky promised me she was 18
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
