Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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