My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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