I haven't been this sober since birth.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
