i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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