Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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