Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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