I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
