I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
