I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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