don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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