I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
