i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
