woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
is it fun? or sober?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
