dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
