So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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