I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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