butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
