i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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