Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
