arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
