It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
