Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
